CNTM: Beginners, Bullies and Buck-Toothed Bitches
 

So… almost an entire week has passed and I’m just getting to this review. It’s a little bit laziness and being busy at work, but it’s mostly my complete and utter inability to make heads or tails of what happened on Monday. 

And I’m not talking about what happened in the episode.

But first, the task at hand: A few minutes in, Rachel opted to leave to take a job she had interviewed for prior to making it into the competition. Power to you girl. Go make that money. Modelling may seem glamorous and fun, but it can take years before you hit a stride and make the kind of living you want. In the spirit of fairness, model hopeful Lisa was invited to take her place. With that all sorted, the journey continued.

There was some screaming, two gorgeous male models, arrival at their new accommodations (a drastic, minimal, military style barracks) and commentary on who is or isn’t “real”, who causes comess, and who is a lesbian. 

More on that in a bit.

Back to the competition: This week’s challenge was a pose off led by judge Richard Young. In groups, the models were asked to evoke “dancehall queens” and “business chic” with their poses. It was… interesting. But in the end, Sedia won the challenge for her fluidity, energy, and clear commitment to the challenge. Her prize was a phone call home c/o bmobile. You can’t be afraid to look foolish as a model. That silly face you made? Lead image of the campaign. You need to get into it girls! This business is about selling product, not personally looking pretty.

Later, the girls return home and collectively decide they don’t like Sheriza, and then proceed to pick on her on national, oh wait, no, excuse me, regional television. Uh huh…. We'll come back to this too. Promise.

The next day, their first photo shoot is military themed and led by Creative Director Helen Pipins. Models are paired off, and pitted against each other in a pose off. But this time it’s on CAM-ER-A! *hand flourish* Local photographer David Wears tries his very best to get some life out of the models. (Hi David! We met that one time at Style Spirit!) 

Winners emerge, losers get nasty, but mostly, everyone struggles. The girls are lost enough as it is, and when props are added for them to interact with, it gets… messy. But they all get a picture. They go home, the WendyMail arrives *eye roll* and the judging commences.

Wendy is boring. She is wearing an ugly shirt and she sounds bored and uninteresting. Still gorgeous and showing off amazing gams in those shorts, but holy hell that shirt was a mess, and she looked and sounded bored out of her MIND. The judges critique the shots and Trudy comes out on top. Her posing really was the best, and she was the only one who seemed to be actively thinking about composition while shooting. It showed, and she got the well-deserved win and the fancy bed in the “holiday home” Wendy sends them to post-judging.

Kendra and Semoy end up in the bottom two. I really can’t comment on that development because they were both largely forgettable. Kendra survives and Semoy is cut. I liked her. Oh well.

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW RIDICULOUS AND PETTY THESE GIRLS ARE?

Firstly, they simply decide that they do not like Sheriza and accuse her of being there only because she is of East Indian descent. Um, okay. My bad. Last time I checked, Trinidad (and many other WI countries) is made up predominantly of people of African and Indian descent. It’s not tokenism to include her. It’s math. Treveen, you need to sit the fuck down.

The juvenile decision to pour powder, mousse and various other products onto Sheriza's bed as she slept was enough to set me against all the models involved. You are grown ass women. If you don’t like someone, deal with it like an adult. Pranks are for children. Have you forgotten that the eyes of the entire Caribbean are upon you? I would be disinclined to work with a model who had such a poor attitude to the competitive spirit.

And on the discussion of Susan’s sexual orientation: WHO THE FUCK CARES? To bait Susan like that and stir drama for the sake of it is reprehensible, especially when you deal with it so insensitively. How is this relevant anyway? I didn't realize that a preference for pussy made one unable to look good in photographs. *blood boils*

But that aside, what really irritated me about watching CNTM this week was the twitter commentary. I know, it’s not technically part of the show, and I know that the negativity directed at the girls is not their fault, but it really put a damper on the night. 

Heads up Trinidad: it is not a model’s job to be personally appealing or attractive to you. It is their job to be interesting, dynamic and sell product. That’s it. No one cares whether or not you get that happy feeling from a particular model, because she is not a porn star. It is not her job to give you wood. 

The continuous dialogue on twitter surrounding which girls were “ugly” or “need to fix their teeth” or “not bess” was a little appalling. A model’s job is to make the product she is advertising appealing to the customer. That’s it. Does her physical appearance factor into her ability to do that job? Of course. But there is a difference between "edgy" and "bombshell" as a model type. Not every girl will be a Giselle. You will always have your Georgia MayJagger and Lara Stones.

All in all, this episode really wasn't that exciting. The technical issues continued, (I could barely even hear Wendy be bored by these girls...) and it's clear to everyone that these girls need a lot of work. To be honest I was pleasantly surprised by Trudy and Susan's picture. Difficulties aside, they managed to produce (or luck into) a picture that I find genuinely appealing. They both look engaged in what they're doing and the fire is there behind the eyes, so kudos to them. 

That said, as unimpressed as I am so far this season, I see no need to be needlessly negative. This is season one. It will get better. But it won't get the chance to get better if we continue to be so critical about things that don't even matter. I mean really, you're upset because you don't like her smile? Fashion and modelling is about so much more than just looking pretty. The models are learning that week to week, but it seems the audience needs to learn that too.

Previously on Caribbean's Next TopModel...