Blogging HBO's Girls: Episode #1

Blogging HBO's Girls: Episode #1
 

It's here! I bet you thought I forgot, but as promised, here is the first of my reviews of HBO's GIRLS! I've decided to take a slightly different approach.  Instead of a straight review, I've enlisted my favourite cousin Ianthe (who is awesome, and with whom I will soon be starting a TV review blog! YAY!) to live blog each episode. We'll be watching each episode together in real time, (from different countries! technology!) and then putting our reactions, along with our slightly more thought out analysis, and some awesomely inappropriate screen-caps together for your enjoyment.

These comments are entirely conversational, and a lot of them are literally just us talking and responding to each other, so please don't judge us if we sound ridiculous. (Also, it was super late when we put this together so please forgive the occasional typo!) We both loved this show, and  we thought, as the target audience, we'd talk about our perspectives of the characters, their situations, and how it relates to our own lives.

Pink text is Cate (me) and purple text is Ianthe (awesome). So, do enjoy! And don't be shy about getting involved. Have you seen the show? What did you think? How did you enjoy the Pilot? Let us know in the comments. 

There is awesome sexy sex to be had after the jump!

Cate: She 

(Hannah)

eats like an animal....

Ianthe:

Like a cow?

(Inside joke)

Cate:

I guess? If cows used spoons? Forks maybe?

That’s mean. But really though, table manners. 

Cate:

I love how she honestly thinks she's entitled to indefinite support.

Yes she does, but we’re all like that, and she is right. She’s not a drug addict, but she should not have done opium in the end, that kind of negates her entire argument but I guess I’m getting ahead of things. Should I say spoiler alert?

(I don’t think you need a spoiler alert this long after the show airs)

I think the real problem is that her parents didn’t give her notice. She isn’t entitled to support, but she REALLY came across like a brat. Not cute. Also, I would NEVER talk to my parents like that. Honestly, they’d just laugh at me. West Indian parents FTW!

Ianthe:

But she is right. And professors make lots of money.

But really at Georgetown the average was like $100,000/yr and she was their only child. Shouldn’t parents expect to have to take care of their children in some capacity until they are 25? I think that it was also that Hannah was not really actively looking to improve the situation. She had all these ‘plans’ but nothing was really happening. I mean I want to write an Oscar winning movie but I need to so something in the meantime!

25!!! I hope to GOD my parents aren’t still supporting me then. I would feel like a failure. I want to be

wild

and

free

and

interesting

! But yes, she doesn’t seem to be DOING much of anything and I think that’s why her parents were so annoyed. If she had any actual plans other than “live my memoirs” and be famous, it would be different.

Ok 25 is a bit of a stretch but I mean, my sister  is in med school and so my parents are still helping out.

But that’s MED SCHOOL!!! she’s going to save LIVES. Hannah is going to … tell people about Adam’s weird sex.

Truth. Either way, we are more awesome that all of them so we’ll be great and have more of a semblance of a life than they do now.

Cate:

But do they (professors) really? You think they'd dress better... “I could be a DRUG ADDICT.”

I might already be a drug addict. Seriously, all parents should force their kids to do drugs so they know how much it sucks. Drugs are NO FUN.

Parents would love you for saying that. Although before I went to college I told my mom that I should get drunk to know my limit. She wasn’t amused...

Except that’s actually good advice so...

Cate: “

We can't keep bankrolling your GROOVY LIFESTYLE!!!!!”

That might be my favourite thing EVER said, EVER. But, actually, EVER.

I was about to say that! And her response, genius.... I want a groovy lifestyle. How do I make that happen?

Cate:

Her monologue here is AWESOME. “Two abortions. Right in a row!”

Two abortions period, is a problem, but I appreciate her adding the "right in a row" part.

It’s way more intense if they’re right in a row.

Apparently.....

Cate:

OMG her face is priceless. “I don't want to see you tomorrow.”

Ianthe:

I'm busy trying to become who I am! Love it!

I’m going to use this line, “I’m busy trying to become who I am”..... aren’t we all though? So deep. *le sigh*

Cate:

I have to admit, I like her though :)

Hannah is endearing. I want to slap her, but she’s endearing.

I only like Hannah because of what she says, she’s funny, but she’s not the best person. But that’s okay since she’s still busy trying to become who she is.... maybe with all her internship-ing and bookwrite-ing she hasn’t had enough time to do that yet.

Ianthe:

Gross

Cate:

Marnie’s retainers are SO attractive.

But, true story, everyone needs to know the horrors of Invisalign. They smell, and they itch. Gross.

Ianthe:

i can't judge that would make me a hypocrite

Metal retainers are the shiznit! 

Cate:

Hannah is so adorable though, I like her.

I think it’s because deep down, I know I’m just as horrible as she is. Ugh. Introspection. No fun.

Yeah, I guess we all are, but we don’t say it out loud. Does that make us better or worse? I know what you mean though, sometimes, the things I think are terrible and selfish and superficial and I wonder if I’m a bad person. And then I think it’d be the worst kind of bad person, who’s a bad person who thinks they’re good. Whoa..... this just got real!

I think that part of improving is acknowledging that you kind of suck. That’s what makes us not as bad I think. We can say “I know I’m being a brat, but...”

True and that makes me feel better :)

Ianthe:

Charlie’s sooooooooo cute!

Cate:

He just BLEW UP A KISS ON HER.

He really is kind of intense though. I like guys to be attentive, but he was all up in her grill. Familiarity breeds resentment!

That’s true and apparently it breeds bitchiness too.... she’s so mean, but I get it though.

She and Hannah are so different, how are they friends? All of them are so different actually...

I guess that’s the point? Different perspectives? But I have NO IDEA why she doesn’t just BREAK UP with him. You can literally see her shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

Ianthe: H

e's annoying but I like his face, I want to bite it.

You are far too intense....

Never too much!

Cate:

I love how Hannah and Marnie just chill naked in the bathroom.

Do people do that in real life? I don’t think they do,and if they do, maybe they need to stop. JK. I don’t mind that.... it’s more the fact that Charlie walks in on them and it’s all okay.... that’s kind of weird. Maybe I’m the weird one because I don’t do that.... maybe I’m not actually as close to my friends as I think we are because we don’t hang out naked … hmmmmm.... so many questions. And I’m actually being serious for once, I’m going to have to take a poll.

I think that for the most part people are only naked around people they have already seen naked, ie. having/had sex with. But they all live together basically, so it makes sense that they are super familiar.

I’ve had roommates, and that wasn’t part of our day to day activities but what do I know?

Cate:

Awesome. Also, cupcakes.

Cupcakes are in.... everybody’s doing in.... in the shower....

IT IS ALWAYS TIME FOR CUPCAKES.

Ianthe:

Yes Marnie, you are a bitch.

Cate:

Marnie makes me so mad. She hates BEING LOVED. Really? You hate that he's devoted to you?

Ianthe:

But really, why doesn’t she dump him? Like I legitimately don't get it.

It takes a strong person to realize that they are a bitch. Recognizing that something you did was bitchy is way different from being like, “Oh hey, a bitch!”

I think she just feels bad. Like, she knows she should be grateful, but she isn’t, so she feels bad. DON’T DENY YOUR FEELINGS!

Cate:

I love the pillar of chat. We should make a diagram.

Their diagram was inaccurate, they didn’t have like snail mail! Yes people still do it, it’s romantic. *le sigh*

It’s DUMB. By the time you get the mail, the person could have DIED. Ok, maybe that’s a tad dramatic, but you get my point.

Do I? Do I get your point?

Haha, I see your point but there’s something really sweet about writing letters and I’ve heard that it calms you down, which is nice too, like the action of taking the time to write is supposed to be cathartic apparently.

I have never heard that but I believe you because you went to Georgetown. Totes smart.

Ianthe:

I would put email above texting but whatevs.

I just put everything about facebook.

Yes, because as we learn from Shoshanna, not having facebook is really classy.

Really fucking classy.

Ianthe:

$2100 a month! Crapsicle sticks.

But really how does she afford that? The thought of that is mind blowing to me, and she was letting Jessa stay there free, I guess it’s because of how classy she is.

I THINK she’s still in school, so maybe her parents support her?

Good to know that all the parents in this show aren’t pulling douche moves, they’ll probs start when she graduates though, but for some reason I think Shoshana has her head on a bit straighter than Hannah ever will and won’t be pretending to be a writer.

I totally believe that. It’s probably all the sex she’s not having. But wait, we don’t know that until next week.

Spoiler alert? haha, I just really want to say that, all the real blogs do. But then again all the real blogs don’t write about shows they’ve already seen :/

Cate: “

You're so fucking classy.” I love it.

I change my mind. This is my favourite thing ever said EVER! I really just want to kiss her. She is amazing.

I was literally just about to say that. When you like people you want to kiss them, when I like people, I want to bite their face...weird :/

OMG I bite people too!!! It’s a problem.

Wait, what? You know that I don’t actually bite people right? I’m confused....

Ianthe:

I know exactly what she's saying with the Sex and the City references.

Cate:

When does your Samantha come out?!?!

Ianthe:

Those were good references.

They were. Also, I like to think I am Carrie, but Samantha in secret. Which I guess negates the point of being S

amantha. So, Samantha around people I’m comfortable with? Either way, I want to be Samantha.

Truth, I’d like to be a Carrie but I honestly don’t think I’m anything like any of them and I don’t really feel like there’s parts of me that are like certain characters either. That’s the case with most shows, but that’s why I like Girls, because I really can actually relate in some way to what these biddies are doing/ talking about.

YES! I think in this show I’m Hannah. Right down to the awkward sex scenes with douche bag Adam. So. Painful.

Because it’s (SPOILER ALERT! YAY!) tight like a baby, bahahahaha

Cate:

How is she a writer and not know what invaluable means?

Seriously....

Ianthe:

She's not a writer...

I feel mean saying that, I’m sorry Hannah! I take it back!

Also, obviously she just doesn’t write the word when she writes....

Cate:

Token Asian!

Ianthe:

Where?

What Asian?

Cate:

Joy Lynn.

Ianthe:

Who?

Is that her name? Or is that just a generic Asian name you are using? Either way it’s offensive.... but at least they have people who aren’t white? Too soon?

No, that’s her name. But yes, it is offensive. I actually wasn’t bothered by the all-whiteness until that scene. They made it so obvious that she was OMG ASIAN, that it really was offensive. It felt like they were throwing it in our faces a little. Not okay!

Hmmm, I didn’t even notice that. True.

Ianthe:

This elusive book. Is it that hard to write one? I mean LC from "The Hills" has one. No, she has three.

Cate:

I guess not.

L.A. Candy!!! Totally going to read that one after my economy book, I think they’ll go well together, haha.

But I like LC. I mean, she’s not Heidi, so there’s that.

Yes, that is the one thing that everyone in the world (except Heidi) has going for them...

Ok, body shaming! not okay! (but really Heidi WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?)

Maybe she’ll read this blog and have a chance to respond with an update on her life? *shrugs*

Ianthe:

Smootthhhhhh

Cate:

ADAM IS COMING. SEX TIME.

Ianthe:

No, Hannah, it wasn’t a job. As Adam said, she was just 'hang[ing] out there'.

Her ‘job’ was really just something for her to do during the day. But she was right at the beginning with the economy it’s hard to get an actual job. Lots of people have resigned to interning but the difference between them and Hannah is that they are willing to have another job on the side - like work at McDonalds or at a coffee shop. She wasn’t.

Truth. I mean, really, I am not built to work in the service industry, so I understand. I am the waitress who will spit in your food. But I don’t have a problem with more than one job. I just need to have a desk job. But I guess that’s the point? You can’t always get what you want?

I think today, a lot of people purposely choose not to learn those type of skills so that they’ll never have to use them. Joey in Dawson’s Creek said in an episode that she made it a point to not learn secretarial skills.

NO DAWSON’S CREEK REFERENCES!!!!!

Too late!

Cate:

He's such a nerd. I'm convinced he's an aspy kid.

Ianthe: U

gh, I hate him.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Please don’t hate me.)

So PC. *applause*

I don’t even hate HIM. I hate HER a little for putting up with him.

Actually I’d like him a lot more if he was a spy. That’d be cool

That is the most RANDOM THING EVER.

But you said you think he’s a spy!

NO, aspy. Aspergers.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Whoops....

Cate:

He's making her STAND. WHY?

Better leverage? idk?

Stand UP. We do not understand each other.

Sorry, I’m not sorry?

Natch.

Ianthe:

I think my parents don't like me because they don’t give me anything.

My parents let me live with them, but that is a point of shame for me *hangs head*

Ianthe: “

Supplement” -  He means he be hustlin’. Sooooo deeeep “Don't be anyone's slaveeeee.”

Like a G.

Cate:

but I love how she doesn't know ANYTHING about this guys she's sleeping with.

I guess she likes sleeping with people who seem to be bums?

Girls have that complex where they want to change the bad boy. Ugh, why are we so dumb? And technically we don’t know if he’s a bum, because we don’t know anything about him, remember?

This is the truth. Men will bring devastation down upon women just be being exactly the way they are. And driving us crazy.

Cate:

Yoga is a special skill?

Ummmm,....can you do yoga? Then how do you know whether it’s a special skill or not?

I can TOTES do yoga. I took a class.

Oh, one class....never mind then.

I took several classes. I had a coupon.

Whoa! look out! big shotttttt!

Ianthe:

and besides there are so many guys I would sleep with them and I don't know them

don't judge what you can't understand.

Yeah, but you don’t ACTUALLY sleep with them. Because that would be weird.

Truth.

Cate:

He's so creepy with the sexing.

He talks like a sexual predator. Stop.

Ianthe:

But really...

STOP

Cate:

I hate how he orders her around.

It bothers my inner feminist. but I guess part of being feminists is being okay with her being okay with it? Meta...

Whoa, that was deep. But yes I agree, I’m okay with it as long as she is, but she only is because she wants him to like her and keep sleeping with her and become her boyfriend.... and that, I am not okay with.

Ianthe:

How are they turned on? I'm not. Is something wrong with me?

Cate:

No. this is the WORLD'S MOST AWKWARD SEX SCENE. God forbid she get up to undress.

There is nothing sexy about this sex scene. We don’t even see the peen.

I’m all for some peen but i don’t think I’d like to see Adam’s :/

Cate:

This is not the way to talk about anal...

Ianthe: “

You're doin’ great.”

So encouraging.

Oh Adam, such a gentleman, I can see why she likes him *rolls eyes*

Cate:

She NEVER STOPS TALKING. *cringe*

She has full on, complete conversations with herself during sex. My goodness.

Haha, I think it’s her way of connecting, lol. Adam only wants to connect in one particular way... if you know what I’m saying., haha. Although when I was watching Happy Endings they said that if you say “if you know what im saying”, it makes what you’re saying not funny... I take that part back.

If you mean he wants to have sex with her butt then yes, I know what you’re saying. Also, I don’t watch Happy Ending, so I’ll take their humour advice with a grain of salt.

Or you can start to watch it! sooooo funnyyyyy

Ianthe: “

Im great.” She's

awkward, and (not) black

....haha

I am sooooo funny

Cate:

STOP TALKING!!! She's a mess. “Let's play the quiet game!!!”

I find this SO offensive. But I told a guy friend about it, and he thought it was hilarious. So maybe I’m too sensitive? I would slap someone who did that to me. And also not have sex with him anymore so... there’s that....

Amen, sister friend!

Ianthe:

Charlieeeee is so hot! Ilike him but he's awkward.

Cate:

He's.... cute. How can he not tell that Marnie is just NOT into it?

Love is blind? Like literally?

Literally is the only explanation.

Ianthe:

Ohhhhh illustrations from children's book.

Cate:

See! I was right! Cartoons!

Ianthe:

And no one is that insightful about why they do stuff when they're fat.

Cate:

TAKE BACK YOUR BODAAAAYYYY!!!!!

Ianthe:

Maybe she had therapy, and that's what they told her.

Cate:

I doubt it.

Ianthe:

Me too, but it's still hard to believe.

But I like the whole take control of your body thing. She’s really not even fat and I like that she’s comfortable enough to talk about it with him. But I guess when you’re a teen, it can be hard to lose control of your body *ahem, boobs* so I guess, you do what you can.

Yeah, I like that idea too and I mean her reasoning behind it made a lot of sense. I totally think it’s amazing that he character in general is so free and comfortable when it comes to that stuff. How do you become like that? Like what is it that makes you that type of person?

Cate:

He tells the time from his penis?

Ianthe:

It's like telling the weather from your boobs

TWO FOR YOU IANTHE COCO!

And none for Gretchen Weiner.

Ianthe:

Mean Girlssss.

TIL DEATH.

Cate:

Only she would think a weird sexcapade was really really nice...

I’ve said it before and I will say it again don’t judge what you can’t understand..... Have you had a weird sexcapade? Maybe it is really really nice...

Cate:

I like that she's naked though. Brave. I couldn't.

Ianthe:

I know my mom doesn’t even see me naked.

I can barely be naked in front of people I WANT to be naked in front of. She (Lena Dunham) is naked in front of the WORLD. Good for her. 

I agree, that’s awesome! And she’s the only one in the show.

Cate:

Ray bugs me. he's a creeper. Creeper-shaming!

Ianthe: H

e is a creeper but I like it.... Oh god, that means I’m a creeper. Also, we have very different taste.

Cate:

Yes, we do have different taste.

VERY. I like Damon Salvatore.

Ugh. Stefan is better for her! But just don’t get me started...

What’s-her-face can have him. Then I get Damon.

Ianthe:

Damn it! I want to smell like sex!

Cate:

SEXY SEX.

I didn’t think there was any other kind, then I remembered the sex that Adam and Hannah just had.... yeah, not sexy...

Totally casual.

Cate:

Opium. Let's get high!

Ianthe:

I wanna get high.

Cate: “

Everytime I do coke I shit my pants.” It happens.

Ianthe:

You would know!

Cate: A

pparently. Jessa is amazing.

Ianthe:

Haha, Idk, I'm indifferent to her. I honestly don't like any of these characters.

Cate:

I don't think we're supposed to.

I honestly think that Lena Dunham WANTS us to hate them. I think she wants to make them horrible people, and then prove to you that you should like them anyway.

I know but, seriously? No redeeming qualities? But....yes, my hatred does diminish every time I see them.

Marnie has shiny hair? Jessa is... bohemian, Shosh is adorable so she gets a pass. Hannah is... having sex? No, she has tattoos. That’s her thing.

You’re right, I take back everything I just said. Also, Hannah is comfortable with her body - that’s cool too....

That IS cool. Props to you girl. *raise the roof!*

Cate:

They're so whiny!!!!

Ianthe:

But so are we, right?

Cate:

I guess.... But we don't live in NY so it's like it never happened.

Ianthe:

Truth.

Ianthe:

That really was a douche move by her parents though. I can't believe they did that so randomly....again.

Cate:

Agreed. Give a girl some notice!

Maybe if more parents watched this show, they’d see who their actions, made their children crazy and learn not to do it.

I think this show will make parents laugh at their kids. I will laugh at my kids. I know this for a fact.

It’s a cycle, they laugh at us, we laugh at our kids...

Ianthe:

I like that, our blog will be “The voice of our generation”

Cate:

Or “A voice of A generation”.

This show really is though, I think something about it will speak so everyone..... maybe...

I don’t know about a whole GENERATION, but I think it definitely does the whole “creative aspirations in NY“ thing really well.

But I feel like Hannah is really the only one with creative aspirations.

Well, arguably, she’s the protagonist, so that’s cool.

Cate:

Walking in on her pooping. Casual.

Ianthe:

Must smell bad. I wouldn't like that

Cate:

Hand her TP to wipe her butt. Casual.

Ianthe:

That's not really life, is it?

Cate:

Not for me. I'm poo shy. Way to announce your bouncing baby! On the potty!

Haha what if it fell out! haha,

THAT HAS HAPPENED!’!! Don’t you watch “I didn’t know I was pregnant”? It happens WAY more than you’d expect. Pooping out babies.

Ugh, I just don’t want to respond to that.

Ianthe:

That's why couples break up because they don’t keep the bathroom door closed. You have to keep some mystery.

BUT ACTUALLY

Cate: “

You guys are beautiful!”

Ianthe:

No Charlie, you're beautiful.

Charlie is weird.

Ummm yeah....Weirdly attractive...

Ianthe:

Opium is my favourite drug. No, but really it is. Not that I’ve ever had it.

Cate:

This is amazing. It's like a grown up, high, temper tantrum.

Ianthe:

Holy crap she's 24! That'll be us soon!

Cate:

Don't kid!

Cate:

Coffee is for grownups!

Ianthe:

Ugh.

This is why I only buy hot chocolate at starbuck. Don’t judge me.

Omg, I got hot chocolate at Saxby’s the other day and the people working gave my drink to a 12 year old. How could they just assume that! Yes, I’m not a grown up yet, I don’t like coffee...

The coffee gods are SUPER judgmental.

Yeah, but I like to think that if there weren’t super judgemental people like them then we wouldn’t know whether we were

judgmental

or not. Hmmm,does that make sense? Whateves.

Ianthe:

I haven't slept in something that’s not a twin bed in so long.

Cate:

Right? My queen makes me feel like I'm drowning in mattress.

Ianthe:

Another douche move by mommy and daddy Hannah.

Seriously... just leaving her again... with no warning! She showed up to their place high! Clearly she needs their support!

But also, awesome job stealing the tip Hannah. You're a pal...

Ianthe:

Ugh I hate when random people tell me to smile, It's like, why would I help you with that?

Cate:

That IS lame. if you want a smile, move your own mouth muscles. It's HARASSMENT!

SERIOUSLY, what kind of asshole tells people how to ARRANGE THEIR FACES?!?!? WHAT IS THAT. Don’t do that.

Well there are many an asshole. Maybe I look angry, sometime I think I have a bitchface :/

YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR BITCHFACE!

Thanks? The perfect ending....